Ok guys, it's that time of year again. Christmas is coming, striking fear into the hearts of brave men everywhere. Why? Because you are unprepared yet again. You know I'm right. Come on fellows, it's time to put on your thinking caps and figure out what the lady in your life desires for Christmas. Now I know you're probably thinking, lingerie. What is it about Christmas that automatically starts a man thinking about a scantily clad female in a red Santa hat, fishnet stockings and heels jiggling up and down stairs carrying shiny new rifles, shotguns and handguns to put under the tree? What? You don't have those dreams? I am so disappointed in young men these days. Still, while your sweetie may like dressing up as the sex object of your dreams, admit it, lingerie is more of a present for you than her.
Still, it's easy to see why men find the Christmas season sexy. Women, out to score a few brownie points flirt much more. They want a special present and they know how to get it. Not that guys don't play games as well. Nothing like a few snowflakes falling slowly down, freshly hung mistletoe and some steaming hot chocolate to get a woman in the mood. Don't be fooled. Women may know how to get men's wallet loosened up, but smart men know how to stoke the fire of romance in their ladies.
Think about it. The kiddies are off to bed. Parents are blissfully alone for a few moments. Hefting a massive Christmas tree into the house, Dad is a burly lumberjack, whose sensual smile makes Mom think of sharpening his pole axe, if you know what I mean. Scurrying to get the presents under the tree, Mom and Dad keep bumping into one another. Laughing, relaxing, the bumping leads to embracing. Christmas lights of red, blue and green place a mysterious glow over Mom's nightgown, accentuating every luscious curve. She is the wild forest nymph, mistress of the naked mistletoe. Enthralled by the forest nymph, the mighty lumberjack has to make his move. Hot chocolate anyone? Is it any wonder Dad keeps mistletoe all around the house and a camera to record certain special events?
Oops, I'd better get back to presents. Married men, pay attention. There's still time. Listen to your wife. Give her her dream gift, at least as close as you can without going broke. For single fellows, if she's the real deal, do the best you can. Otherwise, if you marry your sweet babe, you'll get to hear about the year you gave her the crappy Christmas present for the rest of your life.
Oh yes, by all means buy your loved one a Wanderers book for Christmas. I need the money. Old Wiley has a lot of nice folks on his Christmas list this year.